Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Dear David,

It's been awhile since we had a visit in New York in April and I haven't had a chance to check in with you since coming back here in May.

Somewhat to my surprise, but also my delight, it's like starting over. As a "free-lance" volunteer now, without affiliation, I feel a new energy and a new spirit about being here. But with the advantage of knowing where I am, how things work, and slightly improved language skills. I am finding enjoyments which were lacking before and an unfamiliar vitality in being able to delve into something that sounds interesting, without having to censor myself about it.

My primary focus and commitment this summer is on teaching Anatomy & Physiology at a nursing college in Qubeiba, a village in the West Bank which is one of the four reputed Emmaus sites (although probably the least likely of the four). It's a new branch of Bethlehem University, just two years old. I love being part of something new in the West Bank where so much is stifled, stunted, and worn out.

Our classes are small with only about 13 students in each, divided just about evenly between males and females. The secondary schools here teach English, but not all teach it very well, so most of the students come to nursing college knowing little. Much of their first year is spent on English (the University requires instruction in English) and I am amazed every day by how quickly the students pick it up. So they are not only studying new, complicated, technical material, but they're doing it in a foreign language. I can barely say "Where is the bus station" and they're learning cardiovascular physiology!!

My admiration for the students and staff is part of what I love about being included in this program, but it's also because this college is giving some young people a chance for a good career where there aren't that many. I feel like part of a community of possibility.

I will teach there in the fall, also. The second half of Anatomy & Physiology and Pediatric Nursing, as well. I met recently with some faculty at a medical school in Nablus about teaching there also but I'm not sure about that. There would be some logistical issues involved in commuting there so I might not take it on, even should they invite me.

And from time to time other opportunities are coming along that bring that sense of "vocation". Tomorrow I'm going to a village near Hebron. A friend lives there and invited me to come visit the Red Crescent clinic in the village. They need medicines and supplies, so I'm going to see what the situation is and then see if I can get someone in the States or Europe interested in helping out. I also accepted an invitation to write some articles for an NGO about the work they're doing. So I'll be visiting people in the West Bank and Gaza who benefit from their help to write their stories. It will let me get to know more people and something about their lives. To know them in their homes, drink tea, and discover how alike we are.

When I was in the States recently, I imagined I would come back here and get involved in lots of human rights issues. I may do, but since coming back I'm finding that my enjoyment really comes mostly from being able to be with people individually. To get to know them. Spend time and listen to what's on their minds. Share the good, share the bad, share the ugly. I love kidding with my students, but also sitting with them and figuring out what we can do to help them grasp the material better so they can succeed. Or enjoying their delight when they make an "A" on a quiz. Or try to encourage when they make a "D".

Back in February 2008, which feels like a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I wrote here about asking "What am I doing here?" I've been asking it alot again lately in this new context. For me, it's critically important to do that. Of course, an old analytical introvert like me would love that stuff anyway, but I actually do think it's important especially in this kind of venture. But I believe it must also apply in anything we do. To ask: Really.....no, REALLY.....what are we doing here? Are we here because we want to help? That's noble, but is our help needed or wanted? Do we ask first if someone wants or needs help, or do we assume because we have so much and they seem to have so little? Do we give them what we think they need, or do we ask what they need?

Are we here because it makes us feel good? When who we encounter and how we meet them are incidental to our "goals". I do that sometimes and I see it alot here. There are countless people who have been here dozens of times over 20 or 30 years. But they don't speak a word of Arabic or Hebrew and the only people they know are those with their agency, church, or organization. They have only slept in hotels and have never had a meal with someone who wasn't on the itinerary.

I don't want to be "institutional". That can do enormous good - raising awareness, raising money, setting policy, seeking justice. All important. But I don't think that's what I'm doing here. I'm not good at it and it feels, to be blunt, empty to me. I'd rather spend Wednesday afternoon going over his lecture notes with Mohammad than sit in a high-level meeting at the UN or Knesset. Bless those who do that, but it's not what I'm doing here.

So here I am, still crazy after all these years and still stumbling around trying to sort stuff out. Please know that your support and encouragement throughout this long journey have been a wonderful gift. Thank you for that. I look forward to sharing what's left of this journey with you.

Harry