A Blog About Blogging. Sort Of

Did you miss me?

I've realized of course that I wasn't posting like I used to, but lost track of time and now notice that the date of the last blog was 6 weeks ago. Oh my!

There are a number of reasons. Partly because I've become much busier now with plenty to do, unlike those first dreadfully long, dark, cold winter months here when I wanted nothing more than to be somewhere else. Now, it seems, I live here. I have friends, lots to do, and days just started going by without my thinking about blogging. But it wasn't just about the time. I also lost the muse a bit. I felt I was saying the same thing over and over. I couldn't seem to find ways to make the blogs "interesting."

But a few friends wrote, saying they missed reading the postings (that was really nice, thank you). And in reflecting about it then, I realized that part of my responsibility here is just to witness. Not to censor it because it doesn't seem interesting, but simply to share whatever is here, interesting or not. I also realize that with more time here, "interesting" has taken on new meaning. Today I was driving from the West Bank back into Jerusalem. At the checkpoint, the soldier was sitting on a chair up on the curb above street level. His machine gun was draped lazily across his lap, muzzle pointed at me about 2 feet away. I said "Shalom", handed him my passport, he waved me on. I drove away, wondering briefly if the machine gun was loaded but not otherwise paying much attention....... Um, this is not really a normal thing. I bet it doesn't happen alot in San Antonio or Auckland. But here it is routine. One of the challenges here is to always stay alert to the horrific abnormality of this way of life. If we forget that and get used to the Occupation and oppression, we are lost.

Another thing I realized is that part of what needs to be witnessed and shared with readers is that in many ways it is the same thing over and over again. The sheer relentlessness of Occupation is one of the things that makes it so difficult. You know when you wake up every morning that it's still there. You still can't go wherever you want or do whatever you want. You will have to endure that checkpoint again today. You still have to remember to take that ID card with you. You still know that soldiers with guns control your life. And when you go to bed tonight, you know that it will be there again tomorrow. This is hard.

Maybe in other places, when it's not on the news people think it's better somehow. That it's peaceful for awhile. "Oh, no stories from Jerusalem today, that's good." No, that's not the case. We're still here. Nothing has changed. Some people have asked about the recent ceasefire. Truthfully, we didn't pay that much attention here. People hoped of course, but after 60 years everyone here knows how these things work. Mostly, these events are for show on the world stage. Events here are moving inexorably forward toward removal of the Palestinian people. Never mind what you read, that's what's really happening.

Seeing this, realizing this apparent course of events is hard. When I know the people I have come to love face a series of dead-ends and losses, it makes alot of sadness. But it also makes me need to stay here with them. How could I turn my back now?

So. Life goes on. Hours of gold, hours of lead. Interesting or not, I'll keep writing. I hope you'll keep reading.